The Truth Serum

Contents

INTRODUCTION        3

Why Do People Lie?        3

Chapter 1: True Lies – The Various Ways People Lie        5

Types of Lies        5

Types of Liars        7

Chapter 2: Keep Your Friends Close and Enemies Closer – Is Your Partner Lying to You?        9

What Partners Lie About        9

Ways to Detect If Your Partner Is Lying to You        11

How to Handle Lying in Partners?        12

Chapter 3: Children and Lying – A Call for Action!        15

Why Children Lie        15

Ways to Detect Lying among Children        16

What to Do When Children Lie?        17

Chapter 4: Lies at the Workplace – An Alarming Situation        20

Who is a Good Liar?        20

Detecting Lies at the Workplace Now Becomes Easy        21

Handling Lies at the Workplace        24

Chapter 5: Other Methods to Detect Lies        25

Testing and Questioning Techniques        25

Chapter 6: Detecting Lies: Myths Debunked        32

A LAST WORD OF ADVICE        34

INTRODUCTION[pic 2]

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every time my ex had lied to me, her nose had grown longer just like Pinocchio’s? Well, it certainly would’ve saved me months of confusion and worry.

Unfortunately, physical appearance remains unaffected for most part when people lie. And people lie in every sphere of life! Your partner could cheat on you, your employees could be dishonest or your kids could be getting totally out of control. All this can put wrinkles on your face and give you sleepless nights. Don’t you wish you had some mechanism that helped you detect lies? If you are a worried wife, suspicious girlfriend/boyfriend, concerned father/mother or a cautious employer, then the art of lie detection is something you should master. [pic 3]

But before we go any further, let us take a look at why people lie in the first place.

Why Do People Lie?

• The main reason why people lie is that they lack courage.
• They believe that the consequences of being caught would be unbearable.
• They believe that they lack problem-solving skills.
• They are easily scared when unexpected events occur.
• They prefer to avoid conflict.
• Many people, especially children, are scared of punishment.

Unfortunately, the reality is that when we lie to avoid getting into a bad situation, we actually make things worse for ourselves. For instance, our children could be lying to us about the websites they usually visit. What if they meet an online predator on one of these sites? By hiding the fact from us, they might fall prey to malicious attacks and by the time you get to know about it, it might be too late.

Although the above example might seem extreme, it is no longer uncommon. Knowing how to tell when someone is lying to us can provide relief from many emotional, physical and even monetary hassles. Don’t they say it is better to be safe than sorry?

I have learned to discover when I am being lied to the hard way. This is exactly why I am writing this book. Through this endeavor, I hope to acquaint you with not only the different types of lies

but how and why different people in our lives lie to us, as well as some of the best methods to detect lies. I hope that through this book, you will be able to make informed decisions about your life and protect your loved ones from harm.

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Chapter 1: True Lies – The Various Ways People Lie[pic 5]

According to Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist at The New York Presbyterian Hospital, it is a proven fact that everybody lies at some point or the other. Dr. Saltz believes that we usually start lying at the age of 4-5, as we gain awareness of the power and use of language. However, at this age, the lies we tell are not harmful or malicious. So, how do we judge the spectrum of lies and differentiate between harmless and malicious lies? Is there a yardstick to measure whether the lie is acceptable or not? Well, YES! There are different types and forms of lies. While some can be ignored, others cause great emotional, mental and physical trauma.

So, let us start off by discussing the various types of lies. While you read the descriptions, it might be useful to think of examples of each type of lie from your own life. This would help you gain better insight into each type of lie.

Types of Lies

Blatant Lies 

One of the most commonly told lies, this type of lying occurs when someone is giving you untrue or false information. For instance, your spouse lies about a call they get or you lie to your friend about why you can’t make it to that boring dinner they are hosting this weekend. An employee may tell his boss that he was home sick when he was actually watching a football match with friends or teenagers might lie to ensure that they get permission for a sleep over at a friend’s place. These lies are generally used to escape troublesome situations and it only benefits the liars. So, the next time your spouse, children or employee is cooking up excuses, you would know that they are lying blatantly!

White lies

The least damaging of the types of lies is a white lie. People who tell white lies are generally trying to be polite or tactful. For instance, your girlfriend tries out a new recipe and you don’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her what it really tastes like! How about all the times when you’ve told your boss how nice they look? We tell white lies all the time. We thank people for gifts we hate, saying how useful it will be for us! We tell people they’ve lost weight or an outfit suits them or that you’d love to have your mother-in-law come and stay. The only problem is that although we are saying all these things to keep the peace or prevent someone from feeling hurt, white lies end up portraying you as insincere and you lose credibility.