Thoughs

As recent events unfold, I sit back and think. Again a generation at war. I see my generation slowly changing. The naive innocents of youth giving way to the pain and scars of things such of that most will never know. I look around me and see lives forever changed, bonds broken and forged in a landscape that is ever changing. People come and go, faster and in greater volume then in the life of the average person. I watch peoples lives splinter in front of me. Mere kids leaving home for something they can't possibly begin to imagine but will without question be quick to learn. Young men who leave there home with the tear filled eyes of the people who say they love them, but probably wont be there when they return. For those we leave behind time continues and the world continues to turn, but for us time stands still. All we know are the people who may not be here tomorrow or someone who just got off the plane a few days ago. Our ideals of "back home" are a snapshot in time that undoubtedly is no more, but is all we have to hold on to. Those of us who have seen war know something that can not be put into words yet, though unspoken, between us there is subconscious dialogue. I see the memories come back to life in people as they sleep and in self medicated states to try and numb the pain. I see these mental and emotional scars unseen by most, but in my eyes worn in plain sight, unable to be hidden from those of us who know. I see these things and I wonder how much of my own being has died? What scars do I carry that I might not be able to see or notice myself? Am I better for what I have done or have I thrown my own soul upon my sword? I look in the mirror and what I want to see is something so very different from what I see looking back at me. I think we all miss home but I fear and am slowly starting to believe that home is nothing more then a fragmented ideal that does not truly exist but is sadly is a state of mind, that of which we will never know