Virginia Swift

The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst

of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and

somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!! Enough

fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting

down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder

once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet

lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to

change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over

the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince

Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there

aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and

that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in

the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone

will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are...and

that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions). And you

learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the

process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to

you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can

really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always

say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will

always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So you

learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the

process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people

as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and

in the process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world

around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have

been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the

crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should

look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and

where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you

should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry

and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having

and raising children of what you owe your parents. You learn to open

up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin

reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin

to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never

have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with

your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is

power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop

maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your

next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the

outdated ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together

the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you

don't know everything: it's not your job to save the world and that you

can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and

responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to

say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to

carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to

love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk

away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a

relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more

intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm

or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as

they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to

control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love... and

you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your

terms...just