Why Americans Smell Funny - The Pandemic Of Billions

The reason why Americans smell funny is because they have large amounts of flab. This flab can be prone to trapping cats and other small animals in their midst and makes it hard to go to the toilet resulting in a foul aroma. Over 90% of Americans have this problem causing many other countries to reject American food. Evidence is shown that countries dislike the smell, which has built up over time slowly spreading around the world. There have only been five major incidents occurring due to this misfortune. in 1945 when the stench of fermented cat and faeces obliterated Hiroshima. From 1961 Americans managed to contain small amounts of this odor and drop it from plains to kill trees, the substance known as Agent Orange. In 1986 when the smell combined with airborne tatters of flab caused a catastrophic nuclear meltdown. In 2001 the smell got so bad that it managed to bowl over the world trade center. In 2005 the mother of all smells hit new Orleans, ripping its devastating path through the majority of the city. Over the past five years the world has organized the "G8 summit" to tackle the growing problem which is now believed to be the cause of global warming. The summit has greatly reduced this epidemic through voting for increased fiber in American food as well as all cats being disposed of in a safe, enjoyable manner; Death by Ford Pickup Truck. Thanks to all the work put in by other countries, now only 86% of Americans smell funny and the "funny" smell is not nearly as strong as in previous years. Maybe one day the land of the free will refer to the ability to take a crap by yourself.