Xmas

Xmas

A)

Gregory Dodd is a man in his mid-forties and a teacher of political science. He has had two previous marriages and is currently having a relationship with the ten-year younger photographer Susan. It is the night before Christmas and Gregory is driving his car, heading for Susan's house in Jamaica Plain. At one point Gregory is driving though a city and he ends up driving behind a car, which suddenly stops and then makes a u-turn. Gregory has no time to react and he barely manages to avoid smashing into the other car. Gregory is not certain if his car has perhaps touched the number plates on the other car, and while he is thinking of this, the other driver and his co passenger get out of the car and walk over to Gregory. When Gregory opens his window to speak with them he is hit by a punch in the face. The other car drives off, and Gregory is left sitting alone in his car contemplating what just happened, half denying the incident. Afterwards he realizes that what he wishes the most is to be to with his old family, his second wife, now ex-wife, and his three children. Realizing this also makes him realize that he cannot continue things with Susan as they were before.

B)

Self-deception can be to deny facts or reality simply by ignoring them, but it can also come to a point where your self-deception is so strong, that you are not aware, yourself, that you are living in an illusion.

In "Xmas" by Russell Banks published in 2000 we meet our main character Gregory Dodd. Gregory is in his mid-forties and in many ways, his way of living resembles the one of a man in a midlife crisis. He has had two previous marriages and children as well.

"The important thing was that both marriages were ended now, that's all - the brief marriage of his adolescence and the fifteen-year marriage of his young manhood. (pp 15-17)

His first marriage was in his adolescence and his second in his young manhood. It seems like each marriage symbolizes a part of his life, and with the second marriage ended, a new part is bound to begin.

Most people see their life as one long story with many chapters. And as in most books, the main character develops throughout the book, learning from his or hers mistakes and whatever else they might have come across. "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" is a saying that many live by, or turn to in bad times. What it means is basically that it is impossible to know which roads to take in life. You might experience a rough time once in a while, but life is about learning, and this is what you learn from. Secondly you will learn that if you choose one that is a blind alley you should probably consider an alternative the next time you have to a similar decision.

"He preferred to think of his marriages as "ended"; to him they were distinct blocks in time that may as easily have been the best of times as the worst." (pp 9-11)

"Over and done with, and sufficiently behind him that he was able to begin anew, as it were, and he had done that, he believed with Susan." (pp 17-19)

Gregory, however, does live by this saying. It seems that every time his marriage fails, he starts over, not learning from his mistakes. As soon as he has had time to lick his wounds he's ready to give it another go.

"So that, by falling in love with Susan, Gregory felt that he had moved into a new block of time, one that was as endless-seeming as each of the others had been in the beginning, and he was thrilled again. (pp 20-23)

It could seem like Gregory is unable to imagine a life without being married. Perhaps marriage to Gregory is just a desperate hope to be loved.

"Besides, in each case, his commitment to the marriage had been total, absolute, without hedges, without a control. Gregory had loved both women." (pp 6-8)

Gregory's commitment and love in his marriages had been absolute, but not a word of whether or not this was returned. His first marriage was when he was young and foolish, but his second lasted fifteen years. Something must have caused it to end, Gregory himself perhaps? We're not given any hints on the cause, which could indicate this.

Perhaps Gregory's misfortune is that he is incapable of learning and growing as a character throughout his life. If you're married to someone for fifteen years, a relationship has to develop in order to survive, if it stagnates it will, in most cases, eventually fall apart. And perhaps this is the exact same situation Gregory is in, at first without even realizing it.

His drive is symbolizing this.

"... Following the taillights of the only other car in sight." (pp 67-68)

Perhaps Gregory has already accepted, subconsciously at least, that he is at a loss, that he needs guiding. Nor is it a coincidence that it is "Messiah roaring from the radio".

"This was not so much a neighbourhood as a zone of half-destroyed buildings located between construction sites, a no-man's land still being fought over by opposing armies; people lived here, but not by choice, and only temporarily." (pp 74-77)

Without realizing it, this is the life he has been living, unable, or incapable, to flea. Even though Gregory would be describing himself as a 'happy' man in the beginning of the story, truth is, that he has probably not been this for a very long time. Instead he has been living a life in insensibility, numbed by all the things life