Zuckerman Vs Staples
Essay by 24 • December 22, 2010 • 865 Words (4 Pages) • 1,492 Views
Zuckerman versus Staples
In this essay, we will give a deep analysis of two very different essays, a poorly written essay "Two by Two, We'll Fill the Planet" by Benjamin Zuckerman and a well written essay "Black Men in Public Place by Brent Staples." The following paragraphs will further provide a clearer explanation of the differences between the two essays.
We found Zuckerman's essay to have been poorly written. It lacked style and effectiveness. His introduction was not relevant to what he was trying to express. He did not specify the true purpose of his essay. He also made several errors within his first paragraph. He asked questions that were not relevant to his topic. In addition to grammatical errors, his sentences were repetitive and he did not utilize the APA format. Also, he tried to persuade the readers to believe that population growth will eventually destroy the natural world, but fail to give evidence to support his theory,
He then went on to mention that "we often read" in his essay; nonetheless, he fell short to identify as to who "we" the readers are. He gave a statistic on population growth but did not provide reference to support his statistical finding. Also, he referred to Jared Diamond as a professor of biology, but in fact, Jared Diamond is a professor of geography and physiology. Furthermore, Zuckerman used inadequate information and sources to reference his essay; he also did not cite his source. He did not present any real facts to support his essay. It seems that Zuckerman wrote his essay without thoroughly researching his topic. We found it difficult to follow his essay because the structure was not composed. He did not give a strong thesis statement to attract the readers' attention. The transitions of the paragraphs were not smooth. His time frame had no chronological order. We lost track of the essay after the first two paragraphs. In addition, he was a very narrow minded man; his logic was to be in a world that only consisted of people like him. When we read the essay the first time, we thought he was trying to state the danger of an over population growth; however, as we further analyzed his essay, we discovered that he clearly had a hidden message of racial implication.
In the meantime, we found Staples' essay was very effective. It was constructively well written which enabled us to understand. It was easy to follow. What makes his essay so effective was that his first sentence alone grabs our attention and made us want to continue into the essay. Although the first paragraph gave the readers the impression of a different topic, nevertheless, the smooth transition from his first paragraph to the second was still simple enough for us to understand his true intention. Each paragraph of Staples' essay was well structured and organized. As he brought us through different periods and places of his life he still managed to keep us focused.
In Staples' second paragraph, he presented a strong purpose in his essay. He also provided a very powerful thesis statement. "It was in the echo of that terrified woman's footfalls that I first began to know the unwieldy inheritance I'd come into-the
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