Cohabitation

An Alternative to Marriage or Just a Lifestyle

"Living before marriage is a great ideaÐ'--I can save up for the real wedding!" "I don't need a marriage license to prove I love my girlfriend." "Living together before marriage is a good way to test ourselves before tying the knot." These are only few of the responses that people have given for agreeing on the idea that living together before marriage is acceptable, and unfortunately most of the responses came from teenagers and young adults. In the world today, many young adults are thinking about living together before actually going down the aisle. The technical term for this kind of relationship or lifestyle is called cohabitation. Cohabitation can be simply defined as "two unmarried people of the opposite-sex living together" (Colson). If people are thinking that cohabitation is the answer to preparing themselves for marriage, then they are in for a shock. Chuck Colson's online article Cohabitation- It's Training for Divorce shows that half of cohabiting relationships end within one year due to the couple either becoming married or separating. Couples who feel that cohabitation is the answer should think twice before participating in this type of relationship because it can lead to many legal, physical, and sociological problems. Statistics also shows that "couples who are less educated, have a low religious orientation and less economic resources are more likely to cohabit" (Colson). In order to prevent teens and young adults from going down the path of cohabitation, influential individual(s) such as parents, schools [teachers and counselors], religion [priests and pastors], and government should put an effort to educate teenagers and young adults about the repercussions of living a life with their partners before marriage.

Parents are considered to be the most influential people in their children's eyes. They are role models that can shape the decision-making and lives of their children. In order to prevent or lower the risk of teenagers and young couples cohabitating with one another, parents should become stricter with their children. They should sit down with their children and inform them about the many problems that can happen during a cohabitation relationship. For example, they can inform them about the legal problems that can happen if they do decide to cohabitate with the person they are with right now. Legal problems are one of the major problems that a cohabiter might experience during this type of relationship. According to a study, "couples who are live together before marriage don't have legal property ownership. There are laws that are designed to govern and protect the legal ownership rights of married couples, but no laws are designed to govern and protect the legal ownership, but no laws exist for unmarried couples" (Popenoe & Whitehead). Since there are no legal property ownership rights for unmarried couples, cohabiting couples who decide to split won't know which possessions are theirs. This eventually leads to disputes and arguments. Most legal battles between couples [both married and unmarried] are being fought over material possessions today. For example, I interviewed my uncle who decided to cohabitate with his girlfriend. They been going out for about three years and decided that they should test out living together before actually tying the knot. My uncle bought an engagement ring and gave it to his girlfriend. After about five to six months, they decided to call the engagement off and decided to break up. My uncle wanted the engagement back, but his girlfriend wouldn't give it back. She claimed that it was hers since she considered it as a gift from my uncle. It led to many arguments from both sides with their families getting involved. Another example is a cohabiting couple buying new furniture and equipment for their new house or apartment. After a couple of months, they decided to split. Ownership of the material things they bought during their time together as a couple becomes unclear. By parents being stricter with their children who are planning on cohabitating, they can prevent these situations from happening to their children in the future. By informing them right away, they can prevent future disputes and problems for their children.

Cohabiters, or at least those who are thinking of living together before marriage, might oppose of the idea of parents being stricter to teenagers and young adults who want to cohabitate with one another. As stated earlier in the first paragraph, many people actually believe that cohabitation is a great way to test the water before jumping in it. According to an online article called Four Myths About Living Together Without Marriage, "They believe that cohabitating before marriage would strengthen their relationship, which eventually would help them prepare for marriage" (Crouse). Since people are scared to commit for a lifetime, cohabitating will supposedly help them get rid of that fear. Aside from the responses I stated earlier in the first paragraph, many people also felt that cohabitation might be beneficial for them especially in financial terms. According to Crouse's article, cohabitating couples believe that it is very economic to live together before marriage. Testing the water before marriage is a big mistake. According to recent statistics and surveys made about cohabitation, "The average length of a cohabiting relationship that does not lead to marriage is 12 to 18 months" (Colson). The longevity for cohabitating couples don't last that long, which therefore contradicts the idea that testing the water before marriage is the most logical thing to do.

Parents might be considered the most influential people in their children's eyes, but schools also help and influence children greatly. Aside from parents being stricter to their children about living together before marriage, schools should take actions as well. Schools, especially colleges, should offer programs for young adults who are planning on living together before marriage. The programs can inform young adults about what to expect when they are in a cohabitating relationship. These programs can teach and give insightful facts to young adults, or those who are planning to become cohabiters, about physical problems that come from living together before marriage. An article called Should We Live Together? states that "cohabitating couples are more likely to abuse each other than those who are married" (Popenoe & Whitehead). According to Popenoe and Whitehead's article, men were said to cohabitate because it's a convenient relationship. The article claims that while men expected it to be a convenient relationship, the women believe that cohabitating