Compulsory Prayer In Schools

Compulsory Prayer in Schools

In this fast-paced, high-pressure society, complete obsequiousness to our Olympian lords has become a necessity. If our children are to be brought up in a world where former children are not cursed by the Gods to be idiots, prayer to our goddess Athena should be compulsory in all public schools. This next generation of students is doomed to a future full of blathering idiots, and recently blathering corpses unless a program of mandatory worship is established. Our easily-tempered gods, who are known to be trigger-happy with powers, are displeased by the majority of today's "in-your-face," "rage-against-the-machine" youth, and it is a wonder that they haven't taken action already. Some radicals, however, foolishly think differently about this most pressing issue; their arguments should be taken as ludicrous affronts to our lords.

Some heretic pigs disagree with me for various reasons. One concern is that a mandatory worship program in public schools would violate the separation of church and state rules of our constitution. Another concern is that the idea of compulsory worship is, in it self, is a heathen idea, which would be met with divine retribution. Lastly, some deviants believe that Greek culture, our gods included, is silly, because not only did the Greeks as a society ultimately fall, but they also liked to run around naked, grapes in hand, which is viewed as "naughty" by today's constrictive standards. These concerns outlandishly preposterous, as I will explain in the coming paragraphs.

The first concern that I will address is the possible violation of the first amendment to our constitution, in particular, the "separation of church and state" clause. The truth of the matter is that our lord did not approve of this clause to begin with, and they would take no displeasure in our bending of that particular rule in order to better serve them. This is a known fact, best illustrated by a figure of our past, Benjamin Franklin. Benjamin Franklin was a known supporter or all sorts of religious freedoms, protections against religious persecution, and various separations of religions and governments. In fact, he once wrote:

I am fully aware of your opinion respecting religious tests; but though the people of Massachusetts have not in the new Constitution kept quite clear of them, yet, if we consider what that people were one hundred years ago, we must allow they have gone great lengths in liberality of sentiment on religious subjects; and we may hope for greater degrees of perfection when their Constitution, some years hence, shall be revised.

In an obvious, ominous message, likely from Zeus himself, Benjamin Franklin was struck down while peacefully flying his favorite kite. A similar punishment is likely intended for the rest of humanity if we don't learn from our the mistakes of our forefathers.

The second concern that will address is that compulsory worship is an idea that, in the eyes of our lords, is blasphemous in itself. This concern is outright ridiculous; any learned individual will tell you that all throughout history, there has never been and concrete evidence supporting the idea that any god has ever smitten its followers because they worshiped it too much. In fact, there are many tales that support just the opposite. I am reminded of the famed story of "Noah's Ark." You see, some believe that a very long time ago, a certain heavenly figure was displeased with the ignorance of humankind, and created a massive