Defense Mechanisms

Theories of Personality Development

Repression вЂ" The involuntary exclusion of a painful or conflictual thought, impulse, or memory from awareness.

My wife has a very trying relationship with her family. Despite her successes in life, they continually dote on her bother and stifle her attempts to win their approval.

Every time this happens, she becomes upset and she swears she’s going to avoid the type of conversation that leads to conflict. Despite her endless proclamations, the confrontations happen during every visit.

Her repression of the pain these confrontations bring is definitely a negative influence in her life, and it’s detrimental to our relationship as well.

Denial вЂ" Failing to recognize obvious implications or consequences of a thought, act, or situation.

During my first years as a Chief Petty Officer, I encountered a young man with a serious drinking problem. No matter how I counseled him, no matter how badly his off-duty conduct degraded his professional performance, he refused to see the link between alcohol and his inability to be successful in the military.

Over time, his behavior became completely uncontrollable. He was routinely late, showed up drunk, and had a never-ending list of reasons for his mistakes вЂ" none of which included drinking.

Eventually, I made the decision to send him to intensive inpatient alcohol treatment. Once he completed his therapy, he came and thanked me for making him see what he couldn’t see for himself. His denial was definitely a negative influence in his life.

Rationalization вЂ" Offering a socially acceptable and logical explanation for an act or decision.

I was recently ticketed for speeding. I knew that speeding on a military base on a holiday weekend was a really foolish thing to do, but I slipped just the same.

After the incident I told myself that the officer was bored and just needed something to do (there were very few cars on base), that he only pulled me over for training (the officer writing the ticket was in training and had to be coached by the senior patrolman through the whole evolution), and that I was really only speeding up in advance of the speed limit change (I was within spitting distance of a 25MPH to 40MPH zone change).

I don’t believe the rationalization was positive or a negative, but it did help ease the sting of my first citation in over 25 years. Deep down I knew I deserved the ticket, but rationalizing it helped and it was easier than admitting I made a mistake.

Reaction Formation вЂ" Going to the opposite extreme and overcompensating for unacceptable impulses.

In my first leadership role in the Navy, I was placed in charge of a work center of 22 Sailors, one of which was a pregnant, African American female with absolutely no work ethic.

Every time I directed her to do something within her physical capability (limited because of her pregnancy); she accused me of being a racist, of picking on her, or of favoritism towards other work center members.

Eventually the time came for her evaluation. Despite her poor performance and threats, I decided to leave her marks as they were from the last reporting cycle even though that’s not what I believed she deserved. I feared her retribution, so I intentionally went out of my way to make sure she believed she was being treated fairly.

In retrospect, I know my reaction formation was the wrong approach. I should have been honest and submitted the marks she’d really earned. Ultimately, however, I believe it taught me a valuable lesson. I haven’t made the same mistake again. In that regard, it was a positive experience.

Projection вЂ" Attributing one's thoughts or impulses to another person. In common use, this is limited to unacceptable or undesirable impulses.

I have often been the target of projection. On almost every deployment I’ve made over the last 25 years, I’ve witnessed Sailors cheating on their wives. I often hear the expression “what happens on deployment, stays on deployment” but I’ve openly disagreed with it my entire career.

Because I’m a career Sailor, other Sailors assume I subscribe