Effects Of Divorce On Children

The statistics for divorce as of May 2005 suggest that nearly thirty-eight percent of marriages end in divorce. Divorce may appear to be the best solution in a troubled relationship. Consequently, more than just the divorced couple ends up suffering, especially when there are children involved. What is it exactly about divorce that causes negative consequences for children? In what ways will children be affected? Will these effects show outwardly? The unsettling fact is: young children of divorced parents face great psychological challenges due to the environmental conditions and changes associated with divorce (Greeley and Andrews 45). Now that we are in the year 2005 we see groups of working age adults emerging. One group will have received psychological, social, economic, educational and moral benefits and the other group will have been denied them all. The first group will have grown up with both parents present in the house and the second group will have not had both parents present.

Listed by age group are some of the more common post-divorce symptoms experienced by children. Preschool children are more likely to blame themselves and to experience nightmares, enuresis, and eating disturbances. Early-school age children have academic problems, withdrawal and depression. Older school age children are more likely to blame one parent for the divorce and feel intense anger at one or both parents. Adolescents experience the most intense anger and also exhibit problems with developmental issues of independence and interpersonal relationships. (Greeley and Andrews 235-236).

Parental conflict appears to have a noticeable effect on the coping efforts of children. The intense anxiety and anger between some parents in the early stages of divorce is real. Often times parents allow their children to get in the middle of fierce verbal fighting between them. Berating the other parent in front of the child is another way of placing the child in an unfair position, which in essence is expecting the child to choose between the parents. Any form of parental conflict, no matter to what degree, lends to a difficult adjustment period for children involved. (Jekielek 1-3). The deterioration in parent-child relationships after divorce is another leading cause in psychological problems for children. With a divorce comes a parenting plan of some kind. A child may experience shared custody between both parents or custody by one parent with visitation by the other parent. Variations of these plans can be included or added at different times in the child's life depending on special circumstances. More often than not, the mother is awarded custody of the children. The absence of the father on a full time level is detrimental to the healthy development of the children. In the case that the father is awarded custody of the children, the opposite applies as well. Studies have shown that a decay in custodial parent-child relationships may frequently occur in the first year or two following divorce (Greeley and Andrews 56-59). Constant confusion and inconsistent parenting are supplying factors to the adaptation of children. Consistency is the key to helping children adapt quickly with as few psychologically traumatic scars as possible. The consistency should be practiced in every aspect of the child's life including: eating and drinking adult foods, potty training, sleeping in their own bed, discipline, "house rules" showing respect towards others, sharing, and routines wake up and bed times, meal times, play times. Because parents may have different ideas of what consistency means and how children should be raised, it is often a difficult task for the parent to help encourage positive and progressive development for the children. When children are in emotional distress they either feel awful and know it or they find themselves involved in maladaptive, troublesome behaviors that serve as defenses against becoming directly aware of their inner pain (Kalter 25). They will blame