Effects Of Divorce On Children

Divorce and Child Adjustment Problems

Over one hundred studies on thousands of families have been conducted comparing children of divorce with children from intact two-parent families. The great majority of studies find that children of divorce have more adjustment problems than other children (Amato & Keith, 1991). About two times as many children in divorced families show signs of behavior problems compared with children in nondivorced families (Hetherington, et al, 1998). These behavior problems include hyperactivity, aggression, delinquency, poor school performance, depression, low self esteem, and anxiety.

Bottom Line: Regarding this most basic question, do children of divorce have more adjustment problems, there is great consensus across past and present studies that they do.

Why Does Divorce Cause Problems for Kids?

If children of divorce are less well adjusted, what is responsible for their difficulties?

Several studies have found that poverty has a negative influence on kids living in single parent homes (Amato & Keith, 1991). Families are sometimes forced to move into more dangerous neighborhoods and can't provide as high a standard of living as before the divorce. The loss of income seems to account for some, but not all of the problems experienced by divorced families.

Some studies also indicate that greater contact with the non-custodial parent, or at least a warm, caring relationship with that parent, helps children of divorce remain emotionally adjusted (Clarke-Stewart & Hayward, 1996).

In the Psychology Department at UCLA, we are also investigating the causes of the adjustment problems experienced by children of divorce. We are studying a large group of upper middle-class 10-12 year olds, some from divorced families and some from two-parent families. Our results show that over the span of three years, children from the divorced families were consistently rated by their parents and teachers as having more problems with worries, peer acceptance, and acting out behavior than their peers in two-parent families.

Because the children of divorce in our study came from middle class families in West L.A., their problems could not be due to family money difficulties. However, the divorced mothers in our study were more withdrawn from their children than the married mothers. The divorced mothers also experienced more symptoms of depression. When the divorced mothers were especially withdrawn and depressed, their children tended to act out. Our analyses suggest that if the mothers had been more involved with their kids and less depressed, their children may have had fewer behavior problems.

In our study, mother's withdrawal and depression did not account for the increased worries and social problems experienced by children of divorce. Other factors that we did not measure, such as contact with the non-custodial parent, also probably played an important role in these problems.

In our study, we also found that divorced mothers were rated as more overprotective by their children than nondivorced mothers. It is my experience from working with divorced families that children can fall into the role of a "friend" for some divorced parents. Divorced parents are under stress from the divorce, have less time to socialize with friends, and they often find it easiest to "bond" with whoever is around the house. Divorced parents may be tempted to share their daily problems with their children, or seek physical or emotional comfort from their children when they are feeling tired or upset. Although the parent's needs for support are real, the "friend" role places too much strain on children, who are already stressed by the changes in their lives caused by divorce. Research shows that kids who feel responsible for taking care of their divorced parents have more emotional problems. I strongly recommend to parents who I work with to find social support from friends and relatives, but a) avoid sharing a lot of worries or problems with the children, and b) avoid turning to the children for hugs or sympathy when you are not feeling at your top-- your kids will thank you when they're older!

Bottom Line: Children of divorce seem to be at greater risk for adjustment problems for several reasons: lack of positive contact with non-custodial parents, loss of family income, and less positive relationships with their custodial parent. Children exposed to none of these factors may not be at risk at all.

Are Unhappy Marriages Better than Divorce?

Recently, there has been much public interest in the question of whether unhappy marriages are better than divorce for children. Inevitably, there are political overtones in this debate, making it difficult to determine whose position is "correct".

Early studies (e.g. Block, Block, & Gjerde, 1986) suggested that children from to-be-divorced families already had more emotional problems than never-divorced families. However, divorce seemed to make things even worse for these children.

More recent research has generally found that children who are exposed to high levels of conflict between their mother and father have even more problems than children from divorced families. Therefore, it may be that, on average, children would be better off if parents divorced in high-conflict families, and would be better off if parents did not divorce in low-conflict families.

Bottom Line: Probably, in some cases, divorce is better than sticking with a highly conflictual marriage (from the kids point of view). However, there are probably other cases when the marriage could be salvaged, and for the sake of the children, perhaps another try should be made.

Will Children of Divorce Become Divorced Themselves?

Much research has concerned itself with the transmission of divorce from one generation to the next. Are children of divorced parents likely to get divorced, too? Evidence suggests that there is a heightened risk for divorce in children of divorce (see Amato, 1996, for a review). However, a recent study conducted at UCLA by Wolfinger (1997a) has found evidence for a downward trend in divorce transmission over the last 20 years. Specifically, children of divorce are 50% less likely to become divorced now than 20 years ago. Wolfinger suggests that the increased prevalence and acceptance of divorce may account for this