Final Reflection Paper

Final Refection Paper

Our large group of eleven female graduate students had an advantage in progressing to the working stage because we all knew each other from former classes with the exception of one person. The first half hour was somewhat slow as we all became comfortable with the idea of the group. In the first session, members shared important and personal information. I do not believe this would have occurred if we were not already acquainted with one another. As the group unfolded, there seemed to be a pattern of who spoke up and who remained quiet. Other patterns included the desire from every speaking member to be polite, encouraging, and somewhat rescuing. There was very little confrontation as it seemed no one was willing to engage or ignite conflict. An example is that one person brought up a subject in session 3 or 4 that we seemed to be stuck on for the next two sessions. After thirty minutes into this discussion for the third week in a row, I asked if I could change the subject. A loud and enthusiastic "yes" arose from almost every member of the group. I wondered if everyone was wishing to change the subject, but did not want to create conflict by moving on in the event one person may have wanted to continue this discussion.

I believe that the people who shared gained insight and felt heard and supported. Though our leader empowered the members to guide the group when appropriate, he remained active enough to keep the flow moving in a slightly structured manner.

My strengths and weaknesses as a group member were interrelated. My strengths include that I tend to be a natural leader. I do not try to lead; it just seems to work out that way when I am involved in any type of group process. I am not afraid to speak up or share information. My weaknesses are that sometimes when I realize I have become an "unofficial" leader, I may back away in order to not take on any unwanted responsibility. My strength of speaking up was sometimes a weakness in group because I felt I already spoke enough and should sit quiet so others could have an opportunity. Also, I am uncomfortable with confrontation or interjecting my opinion if I am not well versed in the subject. This sometimes holds me back from speaking up when a debate arises. Further thought brings awareness that this perceived weakness can also serve as strength because I do not have a need to always voice my opinion. I can remain outwardly neutral even when I have strong feelings about something. It is not always necessary to interject opinion if it is not productive.

I gained many new insights through this process. First of all, the biggest step I made was confronting fellow members after they tried rescuing me the previous week. I did not realize they were trying to rescue me at the time, but I did know that what they were saying provoked anger and annoyance. Later, as I thought about their responses, I realized their attempt to rescue was not helpful or therapeutic. I struggled with how to say this because I did not want to seem ungrateful for their kindness. I decided that since we are all counselors in training, they should know how it affected me so they do not use this with clients in the future. When Lynn checked in on me and asked how I was feeling after sharing the previous week, I decided to share my feelings. I was relieved at how receptive everyone seemed of my confrontation. I think it was useful information to the other members and a growing experience for me as I do not usually engage in confrontational situations. By practicing this behavior in the safety of the group, I hope to apply it to life situations when appropriate.

I also gained insight on how I choose to speak or remain quiet based on other's needs or perceptions. I believe I do this in a healthy way and I do not wish to change it. I think it is important to be self aware and know when to be silent or when I have spoken enough. This is an important way to be reciprocal in any relationship even if it means sometimes putting my needs behind someone else's.

The work I did in group