Letter To Family Member On Ocd

Something is not right with me. Every since the death of my mom, I have not been myself. When she passed away, I started to focus my attention into raising my little sister. We were both deeply saddened but I wanted to help make her life as normal as I could without her having a mother. All my attention was focused on her, and I became extra careful to keep her safe and healthy, because I couldn’t bear to loose her like I did my mom. Before I even realized it, I was obsessed with the thought of somehow loosing my sister. I knew that these thoughts were inappropriate, and not normal, but I could not help them. All I could think about was the possibility that at any moment she may die. I began doing things to relieve myself of the anxiety brought on by my obsession, such as driving by 10 times after I drop her off somewhere to make sure the school was in no danger, count back from 10 and then up to 100 every time I had to leave her, wash my hands until they were raw before I touched her so I could in no way get her sick, and check every door 7 times to make sure it was locked when she went to sleep. These are only just a few. If I were not to do these things, I would become extremely anxious and distressed. I knew that this was not normal, but yet there was no way I could avoid it. Desperate for help, I started to look up potential disorders, or reasons, that could be the cause of my obsession.

I found out some relative things to my problem. First off, there is disorder in which you have a persistent thought, an obsession, and do things to prevent stress or dread, a compulsion (DSM-W IV). No answering or reassuring will ever satisfy someone with this problem (Gardner). This sounds very similar to what I have. As I looked more into this disorder, I took a look at the causes, to see if anything related to me. I found that the disorder is sometimes brought on by depression, eating disorders, drug abuse disorder, personality disorder, or attention deficit disorder (Gardner). I was very depressed when my mom died, so possibly that could be a cause. I also found that it can be hereditary (Gardner). My great grandma was always washing her hands because she was obsessed with the thought of germs, so maybe she had this disorder, and it was passed down in her genes. One other source also said that “there may be some brain abnormalities in the frontal lobe and the basal ganglia that cause such symptoms”(Gardner). I am contemplating going for a brain scan to see if this relates to me. I became very upset with the idea of having