Misunderstandings

Thus far this semester, we have learned of how language functions as a whole on society, but I’ll be doing something a little different. Let me start off with a question. Who here has gotten into a fight with their significant other or just a friend of the opposite sex over a misunderstanding, misinterpretation, or feel that they are just speaking another language and you don’t understand them?

This so-called phenomenon is best described by the metaphor of вЂ?men are from mars and women are from venus’ and that’s why we speak different languages. We don’t really come from different planets, but we are very different in our communication styles. Our expression of language is affected by our sex and gender. This is epitomized by the ever so popular clichÐ"© of, “I don’t understand women/men.” And this clichÐ"© was verified by your answers to the question I just posed.

While the most obvious function of language is to communicate information, language also contributes to at least two other equally important, but less often recognized, functions: (1) to establish and maintain social relationships, and (2) to express and create the social identity of the speaker. In my paper I will attempt to verify how language is affected by sex and gender. My primary focus will be on Deborah Tannen’s work on understanding women and men in conversation.

Tannen discusses many disparities in language caused by gender such as men often seeking straightforward solutions to problems and useful advice whereas women tend to try and establish intimacy by discussing problems and showing concern and empathy in order to reinforce relationships. Female subculture uses language to build equal relationships, while male subculture uses language to build hierarchical relationships.

If conforming to the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis that language shapes the way we see the world, language allows people to pass on ideas influencing the younger generation. The gender identity that accompanies our sex is predetermined by our parent’s perception of sex and gender. Typically, little girls are raised to be sensitive and soft and to express their feelings, but boys are asked to be tough and detached from their emotions. Take for example a boy and a girl who play together and both fall down. Typically, the girl would be allowed to cry and will be picked up and taken care of while the little boy would be asked to stop crying and �suck it up.’

This idea of language passing on ideas of gender identity is particularly important in relation to Althusser’s idea of ideologies. Not only are we all raised in one large ideology, within this large societal ideology, we are further raised in the more detailed ideology