My Heartbreak - Personal Experience Essay

Ava Aldaba                                                  Aldaba 1

Mrs. Menke

English Comp.

17 September 2018

My Heartbreak

       A few months ago, I went through a very traumatic experience. I lost someone that was like a mother figure in my life. I lost her to stage 4 breast cancer, which kept deteriorating. It seems like parents or people in general never teach you how to cope with death. It’s like it’s just brushed by like Leaves falling to the ground in the chilly fall season.

       In the beginning of her death, it felt as if I couldn’t breathe like I was being choked. It seemed so surreal, it honestly felt like I was drowning in the deep dark ocean. In other words I was in shock, seeing someone just lay there lifeless breaks you down. I just kept waiting for her to wake up, wishing for the ambulance to arrive quicker, the up and down motions on her chest just weren’t working. I kept praying to God she would just come back to life.

      I realized these type of situations are all part of God’s big ole grand plan for my life. A verse in the Bible says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future Jeremiah 29:11”. In my interpretation of that verse I feel like God is saying that his plan for my life is that I will for under him and I shall not be harmed. That I will not be broken and he will give me hope, reassurance, and a beautiful future even though right now I may feel like things may not be going right. Also in another bible verse it says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3”. I feel like in that verse God will help heal my broken heart and uplift me. These verses are very uplifting to me.

       Furthermore, over the next few days of the traumatic experience, feeling very angry. Just sit there with a face full of tears angry with life. I was literally crying a river. I would sit  and think why would such a godly, beautiful, powerful woman be taken so quickly. All she wanted to do was do right by everyone, helping anyone she could. You could truly tell that God touched her soul, and she was an angel. However, me being very angry and grieving I was questioning my religion. I would sit there thinking how can God hurt me like this. Such a beautiful person inside and out. I didn’t even know the type of pain could be felt.