On My Honor

Ð'* Bibliography

Bauer, Marion Dane. On My Honor. New York: Clarion Books, 1986.

Ð'* Intended Audience

This book is intended for children ages 9-13, or 4th through 6th grade, but it could certainly be used for older groups. It's very versatile; its easy readability and interesting content would be suitable for reluctant readers, especially those in adolescence. On My Honor could be an excellent teacher read-aloud for non-reading groups, too. It does have heavy themes, however, so teacher/adult guidance or presence would be ideal.

Ð'* Summary

Joel and his daring best friend Tony Zabrinsky gain permission from Joel's father to ride to a park on the other side of town. A lengthy ride along a major road, Joel promises his father not to go anywhere else besides the park. Joel secretly wishes his father won't let them take the ride, as the real reason to go to the park is to climb the dangerous Starved Rock Bluffs. Along the way to the park, Tony suggests they swim in the deep, muddy, Vermillion RiverÐ'--even though Tony never wants to go swimming. Joel agrees (anything to get out of climbing the bluffs) and even challenges Tony to swim out to a sandbar. As Joel swims, he notices that Tony is behind him and when he reaches the sand bar, Tony has disappeared. Joel panics and desperately dives and searches for Tony, but Tony has drowned in the turbulent river Ð'-too powerful for a boy who can barely swim. Joel returns to home by himself, distraught with guilt. He formulates a story mixed with truth and lies to tell their parents, and then shuts himself in his room until his father finds him. He asks where Tony is, and that Mrs. Zabrinsky thought they were in the house all day. Joel tells his father that they had a fight and that he came back from the park alone. Joel does his paper route, then comes back to find his and Tony's parents talking in the driveway. They press him for details, but Joel still can not tell the truth. Later, Joel lies awake with shame that he can't come forward. He hears a car at the Zabrinsky's house, and sees that the police have come. The police ask Joel questions, and Joel's father calls him an "honorable boy," that Joel would surely tell the truth. At this, Joel breaks down and tells everyone what really happened. Crying, he runs back to his house and waits for his father to punish him, however his father lovingly comforts him. (340)

Ð'* Potential Problems

Death is a very difficult issue for anyone to witness or even discuss. Joel panics when Tony drowns and has great difficulty telling anyone about what happened. In On My Honor, Tony's death is very suddenÐ'--one moment, Joel is swimming with Tony, and the next, he is alone. The fear that Joel has is very real, and so is his anger at Tony. He can't find Tony and is so angry that he makes threats that he'll never talk to him again, that he will beat Tony up. These thoughts are very hurtful, but any human under these circumstances would certainly feel similar out-of-control emotions. The way Tony's drowning is written pulls the reader into the novel so that you feel like you are right there on the riverbank watching the two boys, and watching when Joel searches the water for Tony. "He ducked under the water again, reaching on every side, looking and feeling until the river sang in his ears and he burst through to the light, pulling raggedly for air (Bauer 32)." And later, "He looked around. Still nothing disturbed the smooth surface of the water, and nothing sulked along the bank, no hidden form. He might have been the only human being alive in the entire world (Bauer 34)." Joel feels very alone after Tony is gone, and the reader is there for every minute of the drowning. This sad section of On My Honor is written so realistically that you want to stay with Joel and be with him while he tells the Zabrinskys.

Joel is so distraught that he has a hard time telling anyone what happened down at the river. He lashes out at his younger brother and snaps at his father. Some might think that Joel was wrong to not tell the families, but it would be interesting for any reader to ask themselves, "What would I have done?" Joel is so frightened about what people will think and say, he is so scared and alone that he just shuts down and doesn't tell anyone. One day can change anything, and anyone in this situation would feel such remorse and would want to turn back the clock and start that day over again. So even though Joel panics and can't tell anyone at first, he finds his voice and is able to tell the families and police about their ride to the park.

The language in On My Honor is very realistic. The author wrote the book after the same event happened to one of her friends growing up. The use of strong language, however sparse, reflects the anguish, rage, and frustration Joel feels after Tony's death. He feels guilty for not being able to save Tony and livid with Tony for swimming when he knew he couldn't swim. This is from when Joey has returned home after Tony drowned. He hasn't told anyone yet and is full of guilt and anger. Joel is stuffing newspapers:

Joel stuffed and rolled, the fury taking over again, but this time he knew whom he wanted to punch. It was all Tony's fault! All of it! Tony knew what a poor swimmer he was. He has to have realized the risks. And now he had gone off and left Joel to answer for him. And what was he going to say? Ð'..."Damn it all, anyway!" Joel cried, pushing the rest of the stack of papers off the porch. "I'm sick of this stinking paper route (Bauer 64)!"

Joel's choice of strong language reflects how tormented he feels by that day's events. This language helps show the reader just how anguished Joel feels. The only other "swear word" is when a driver yells, "What the hell do you think you're doing (Bauer 37)?" when Joel dives in front of his car in an attempt to wave down help by the river. Both instances of strong language are used to convey desperation or anguish.

Ð'* Impact

At the heart of On My Honor is the conflict that Joel has against himself. After Tony drowns, Joel wrestles with telling his father, the Zabrinskys, the police, and even admitting to himself what happened that day. He thinks, "It wasn't possible. It couldn't be. It was all a terrible dream from which he would awaken any moment (Bauer 35)." Once Joel realizes that Tony had been