Satirical Essay: Celebrities

Celebrity Role Models

A state in which the mind is elevated above the reach of ordinary impressions, unconscious of sensible objects, and under the influence of overpowering emotions celebrities find irresistible and enticing. Celebrities distinguish themselves in such ways that others admire and want to emulate. Celebrities are worthy of imitation; "everyone needs a role model". The immense amount of drug usage that celebrities, athletes, professionals, and politicians take part in has improved society in countless ways and will continue to do so if everyone emulates these social icons.

The use of drugs has improved society by never having to worry about anything. It brings you into a state of mind where you feel careless about everything and everybody around you. Marijuana is the most widely used drug, but who can blame celebrities for wanting to feel relaxed, have better awareness, and also an increasingly amount of hunger. Instead of going to jail for having possession of marijuana and other drugs, people should go to jail for not having possession of drugs. Life without drugs would be so boring. What would there be to do without drugs? Celebrities are the best role models for setting such great examples for everyone. They admit their personal experiences and exposures established from the usage of drugs. It is amazing how fast the media and paparazzi get this kind of information out to us and how hard they work to intrude on every celebrity to influence us to do the same foolish acts, so we can be just like the perfect little angels that they are.

Hollywood celebrities, pro-athletes, and politicians come clean about their past experiences with drugs and the crazy activities involved with it. George Clooney states, “I’ve slept with too many women, done too many drugs and been to too many parties… I liked mushrooms. They were like easy acid. I did like blow, it would dress you up for a party.” He can still make 25 million per movie and it doesn’t affect his job, I guess everyone should take part in this kind of awesome behavior. Drew Barrymore who had gone to rehab twice before the age 13 says, “My mind seemed to keep blinking nonstop: Coke. Get Coke. Coke. So I did. It was great for dieting, partying and picking up my mood.” Basically stating that every girl in the world should go to rehab at least twice before becoming a teenager, if they do not they are not going to live the lavish lifestyle she does and like many other famous actresses. If you need to shed a few pounds, just use cocaine. It seems like the easiest way to lose weight according to every female celebrity. Previous President Bill Clinton when asked if he has ever smoked marijuana says, “Well, I did smoke pot, but did not inhale. I was in England, so it does not really count.” Last year more then half a million people got arrested for using marijuana, they should not have inhaled and could have avoided jail and probation. If the former President of the United States has smoked marijuana, it can not be that bad. Everyone should smoke marijuana if the president has. NBA superstar Josh Howard of the Dallas Mavericks admits to smoking marijuana in the off season and since it does not affect his job, it is not a big deal. He said this as a guest host on a Dallas radio station a day before they played game three in the first round of the NBA playoffs. As long as using drugs does not affect the way you do your job therefore its safe, healthy, and beneficial to everyone.

What would the world do without drugs? If there were not any drugs people would not be able to function and everyone would be depressed, stressed out,