Self Esteem

Educators, parents, business and government leaders agree that we need to develop individuals with healthy or high self-esteem characterized by tolerance and respect for others, individuals who accept responsibility for their actions, have integrity, take pride in their accomplishments, who are self-motivated, willing to take risks, capable of handling criticism, loving and lovable, seek the challenge and stimulation of worthwhile and demanding goals, and take command and control of their lives. In other words, we need to help foster the development of people who have healthy or authentic self-esteem because they trust their own being to be life affirming, constructive, responsible and trustworthy.

Unfortunately, efforts to convey the significance and critical nature of self-esteem have been hampered by misconceptions and confusion over what is meant by the term "self-esteem." Some have referred to self-esteem as merely "feeling good" or having positive feelings about oneself. Others have gone so far as to equate self-esteem with egotism, arrogance, conceit, narcissism, a sense of superiority, and a trait leading to violence. Such characteristics cannot be attributed to authentic, healthy self-esteem, because they are actually defensive reactions to the lack of authentic self-esteem, which is sometimes referred to as "pseudo self-esteem."

Individuals with defensive or low self-esteem typically focus on trying to prove themselves or impress others. They have doubts about their worth and acceptability, are reluctant to take risks or expose themselves to failure. They blame others for their shortcomings, withdraw and feel depressed, lack confidence in themselves, and engage in compensating behaviors such as showing a lack of respect for others, acting in a superior manner, being arrogant, or bullying others, or even through violence if their self-esteem is extremely narcissistic, fragile, or defensive.

One of the difficulties in trying to reach agreement on the nature of self-esteem is due to the fact that it has been approached from several different perspectives. Some have seen it as a psychodynamic,