Gas Prices

Good morning. As I believe I have mentioned, I am trying to use myspace in an effort to reach out to America's Internet-saavy citizens. I have received may questions recently about the rise in gas price, and I would like to respond to a few of them, if I may.

Question #1: Will gas prices ever go back down to $2 a gallon?

Thanks for your question. I had a very good chuckle over that one.

I'm sorry to say that gas prices will not be going down any time soon.

In fact, as America continues to prosper, as we have been doing these past six and a half years, we can expect gas prices to rise to five dollars within the next 12 to 18 months. It's a good time to invest in a bicycle.

Question #2: Why are gas prices so expensive?

Three reasons: 1) Oil is becoming scarce in many parts of the world. 2) Liberals are slowing down the process of drilling in our Alaskan Reserves. And C) People are willing to pay exorbant prices, so why shouldn't a business get as much as they can?

Question #3: Shouldn't the government step in and force the gas companies to offer reasonable prices?

I'm afraid not. Look at it this way: Imagine you are selling a Beanie Baby on your beloved Ebay and some fool is willing to pay $500 dollars for your precious little Princess Di Special Edition Bear. (Laura has twelve of them, by the way). Would you want Uncle Sam to step in and force you to sell your ursine plush toy for only ten dollars? Certainly not. For the same reason, we cannot and should not interfere with independent business practices.

(FYI: "ursine" means bear-like. I love the thesaurus!)

Part Two of this Q&A is coming soon...