Purpose of Life - Personal Essay

First of all, I don’t think I will ever be able to fulfill my purpose and I feel extremely guilty for not doing so.  

When I was born, my parents often went away to other cities to maintain our family income and I only got to see them a few times a year. My grandmother was basically the only family member I was close with; she was always had. If someone asks me about my childhood memories, I wouldn’t be able to recall anyone else but her. I remember the days that I would get super nervous when she’s not at the front door of my kindergarten because she’s always time picking me up. I remember the days she would pack little snacks and berries into those lock-lock containers and feed them to me in the park. But no matter how beautiful and how many those memories exited, I always forget and take them for granted. Soon after I turned 8, I moved away with my parents and seldom saw her. What was more horrifying was that I started to overlook and leave behind of how close I was with her once.

Several months ago, when I was in the airport and on my way of leaving Beijing to go aboard and study, she took the train to greet me for last time before I go.I left with her note my hand: “Take care in the US. I will miss everything about you when you go. I really want you to have this and this is all I have. I love you so much, call me when you’re not busy in school.” She left 15,000 dollars in my account and that was all she said. It was the retirement pay for several years and she gave it all to me without blinking. She gave me her life savings that could have been used for her dreams. She never lived an abundant live so I can’t imagine how huge the number would be for her. But she provided what she thought that could bring me joy without thinking. There are so many figures in my life that once played her role with me neglecting it. I hope that I could give them parts of me to show my gratitude.